i used to keep a livejournal.

i wrote in it almost every day, sometimes many times, updating it with the most mundane highlights and reading comments from people in more interesting places than flint.  not many people read it and it sure wasn't public.  it was back in the day before facebook was talked about as if it were a sentient being, keeping us current on everyone's whereabouts and observations; the ubiquitous neighbor over the fence.  you had to have a recognized college email address to have an account.  it hadn't even entered my radar.  i wasn't as connected to everyone online as i am now.  i wasn't as picky about what i wrote either.

i used to sit with my brand new powerbookg4 open to livejournal, itunes and a crafting site.  the magnetic latch made an awesome pin cushion while i sewed and stuffed sock monkeys, made clothes for myself, and played around with stenciling.  i'd give my puppy a pigs ear and she'd curl up on her little bed, obsessively gnawing it until i was ready to call it a night.  it was a pleasant change from my whirlwind life and her manic behavior that earned her the name dory.

i met so many people through livejournal groups.  i was so open to new experiences.  my eyes were bigger, brighter, bluer then.  everything awed and inspired me.  i was so certain of who i was and where i was heading.  i was working two jobs; preparing for my move to chicago and art school.  i rented half of a two story house with a yard for half of what our one bedroom-plus, sub-level apartment costs now.

every morning i'd wake up and get ready for my job at borders.  i'd work a full shift there, change in the car, and then head to papa john's and work until they closed.  i'd eat my free ten inch pizza on the eleven minute drive home, shower again, and start writing and crafting.  i had so much creative energy that i had to have two outlets going at once.  when i had afternoons off i took dory to the park.  we'd run and play for a few hours.  then, i'd get a nice break while she napped, exhausted by the sheer excitement of living.

looking back, i can see how all the dots connected to get me where i am now.  i had to make choices, take chances and learn lessons, sometimes repeatedly.  my life is drastically different and yet i am still predominantly the same.  or maybe, i am just more me than i was then.  i am bigger in some way.

i've lost contact with most of the people that i met through livejournal, but somehow they are still with me.  they helped me to learn and grow and introduced me to new people and experiences.  i still make sock monkeys and i started writing and performing poetry.  i had to give dory away, but now i have two cats.  i dropped out of art school after only a few months but i'm still in chicago.  my once sparkling laptop has a few dents and scratches to go along with the new battery and hard drive.  my eyes are still big, bright and blue and every day is awe-inspiring.